It is Sunday once again friends, and we are going to talk about something regarding self-care. Knowing when to let go is a form of self-care. Hanging on to something or someone that has passed its expiration date in your life is not good for your well- being. We know once we lost the underwire in our favorite bra it no longer becomes supportive – thus it is time for us to let it go. If a power tool needs coaxing and constant charging then it has become more of a liability than an asset, and it is time to be replaced. Just as bras and power tools are no longer supportive and become a liability, other things that are more precious to us reach that status as well and we must learn to let them go.
There are people in our lives who we love dearly, but we find once we reach a certain level; they no longer fit in the equation. Listen, it is not about being better than someone else because at no point in life should you feel superior to anyone else. That my friends is just human decency. As much as we hate to admit, we outgrow people. We end up not wanting the same things in life and traveling the same paths, and the commonalities we once shared no longer exist. These individuals may be people we have known our entire lives and may even be family, but if they have become a hinderance, a liability, or a non-supportive entity within your life; it is time to let go. They will not show support for your achievements, they may seem a little judgmental of what you want to accomplish or what you are accomplishing, and they may just be blunt and tell you what they really feel. The thing is being able to decipher the true nature of the individual and their intentions.
When you are looking to improve yourself and your situation, you want people around you that are uplifting and supporting – like a good bra with strong underwire. Not someone who will have you questioning yourself and dragging you down with every opportunity they get. The question you may be asking is, “how will I know when to let go?” I think if you ask yourself the following questions you will know.
- Do you feel drained after being around this person? If a friend/family member doesn’t challenge you in a good way, but leaves you feeling mentally and emotionally drained; it may be time to re-evaluate this relationship.
- Are you anxious about meeting? Does the knowledge of being in the presence of this person cause you undue stress?
- You find that you are the one initiating contact. You may try to get together with this person, but they are too busy or what you need or your time is unimportant. If they don’t value you your time and/or friendship, maybe it is time to move on.
- You don’t like who you are or the way you feel when you are around this individual. If you can’t be your natural self and have to “accommodate” to be in their presence, it’s not worth it.
- They don’t add value to your life. The people around you, in your circle should be like minded individuals. Pushing you to be better, challenging you to do the hard things you think you cannot, and inspiring you when you feel down. If you find that this is not the case, re-evaluate! You can’t soar with eagles, if you are hanging out with chickens, am I right?
Having a history with someone does not make them a part of your life for a lifetime. Everything has a season and seasons change. We have to know when to let go for our mental health, for our own stability, and for the ability to be a forward moving individual. As you grow older, you evolve as a person. You gain values and priorities that were not always there. Some people live in the past and remain in a state of complacency. You can love that person from afar, but you have no obligation to keep ties because of the history that you share. Some people are temporary in our lives and that is ok. Accept and appreciate that time that was and the memories you shared, but move on. There doesn’t have to be a dramatic break from the individual, allowing things to naturally resolve themselves will oftentimes do it for you if you are that far apart in your way of thinking and being. If you do have to make a break, be cordial, be precise, and simply let them know that your lives are not moving in the same directions. Your mental health is the most important part of the equation, and no one should be allowed to take your peace.